Thirty years ago, my brother was ambushed and killed. I’ve also experienced a startled mother pulling a gun on me while at my boyfriend’s house. And, I was in an abusive marriage.

Many of us identify as a “gun violence survivor.” There’s a false assumption that we lead perfect lives until gun violence occurs. The reality is that we all have pretty messy lives to start with.

Of all the state and national gun violence prevention groups I’ve worked with, only Survivors Empowered really saw and understood my trauma—and that it wasn’t singly focused on gun violence. As gun violence survivors themselves, Sandy and Lonnie know firsthand that being re-traumatized by new shootings, pro-gun rhetoric, and other new things we each face slow down healing and recovery.

No other gun violence prevention organization I’ve encountered except Survivors Empowered speaks to or acknowledges this reality. For gun violence survivors wanting to be advocates, Sandy and Lonnie make sure you understand your unique trauma and cope with it. They make sure coping mechanisms are in place before they send you out to be advocates.

Other groups don’t do this. Other groups enlist freshly traumatized survivors and encourage them to go on TV and testify—without fully understanding their individual circumstances. Other groups have well-meaning volunteers who have no training. This can cause more trauma and pain. Groups too often approach someone as a “gun violence survivor” versus dealing with the whole person and meeting them where they are.

Sandy and Lonnie understand all this because they started out of the gate the same way—doing so much while reacting out of pain and grief. They hit the wall, but picked up the pieces—in turn making them better and stronger advocates. They were fortunate to do this as part of their journey.

Retreats and Results
As a public information officer for 14 years with my city library, I pay keen attention to the quality of non-profit communications and ways to acquire new information to help myself. My first Survivors Empowered Retreat was five years ago. There were 50 of us, and we did it in partnership with those helping survivors of the Parkland School mass shooting. There were top neuro-scientists from prestigious institutions. I was very impressed.

My second Retreat in Ajijic, MX in 2024 was much smaller. The facilitator was a gun violence survivor. Through mindfulness exercises and other work, it showed me where I needed to do work to find healing and peace. While no one gets totally fixed in three days, it gives gun violence survivors a place to pause.

In conjunction with my emotional and mental journeys last year, I started to address physical health. Since my brother was killed, I had suffered with autoimmune conditions, type II diabetes, and weight gain issues. In addition to a trauma therapist, I hired a physical trainer, tried new medications, lost weight, and discovered new ways to deal with stress—versus old mechanisms that did a lot of damage.

Now, I sleep better—and have learned how to say “no” sometimes!

The Survivors Empowered Retreats helped make me stronger emotionally, mentally, and physically—and strengthened my work as an advocate.

Thank you, Sandy and Lonnie, for turning your pain and trauma into action that’s helped so many others!